I promised you “funny”. This just about qualifies, I think.
A rainy night in Northampton: my son is out celebrating the birthday of his
friend. His friend is very drunk; drunk enough to push his luck with the policemen
they encounter stalking the sodden, town-centre street, bent, stiff, from the
waist, scanning the gum-spackled block-paving for some object seemingly lost.
Clownish in his intoxication, the drunk friend mimics the posture of the cops,
aids their search for a while before enquiring with a bleary smile: “So
what have you lost?”. Many of the local force would have Tasered the lad
in a trice for his cheek, but on this occasion the response was deadpan: “We’re
looking for an ear.”
A few minutes earlier, it transpires, a witness observed another inebriate
approach a group of hopeful travellers waiting in line at a taxi rank. “What
are you fucking coons all waiting for?” the silly chap enquired.